And Now For Something Completely Different

The Blandford Farm CSA season begins this week.  Since all seasons have an “opener”, I thought I might borrow from sports to celebrate ours.

I suppose I should choose baseball metaphors since this is baseball season, but I’ve never been much for the sport.  It’s far too slow for me.  When I lived in Dallas, a friend invited me to a game of the Frisco Roughriders (the farm team for the Texas Rangers).  I was bored to tears, and the beer was awful, too.

I’m a hockey person.  Although the season doesn’t start until the Fall, I can always dream.  Let’s see if I can re-imagine some hockey terms with a CSA meaning.  Following is my attempt:

Blue line – The imaginary line you cross when you come to the farm, ready to pick up your CSA share, and realize you left all your bags in the car (or at home).

(Body) Checking – Physically bumping into another member while picking up your share.  Of course it was unintentional…

Goal – We got all our vegies for the week.  Made it home.  And our family EATS them.  You SCORE!

Goalie – The role your kids or significant other play when you get your vegies home.  “We’re not letting that stuff into our house or our mouths.”  Ptui

High sticking – Don’t carry that crate above your head because you’ll tip and trip and … we warned you.

Icing – You showed up before paying for your CSA share.  Naughty naughty

Penalty Box – What U-picks feel like in the heat of summer, the tangle of vines, and the bite of bugs.

Period – Divisions of the CSA season.  First period:  the vegie selection is light because things are still growing.  Second period:  The summer weeks when you have tomatoes and zucchini coming out of your ears.  Third period:  Ahhh, the root vegies have arrived.

Puck – What your potatoes become if you leave them in the basement too long.

Referee – The role Aaron plays when not out in the field or greenhouse.

Scrum (normally a Rugby term but Hockey players seem to practice it) – We’re all gathered around that one basket trying to guess what’s inside.  We can’t quite figure it out, not sure how many we get, and Aaron is away at the moment.

This cup is for the Blandford Farm team. (Yes, it's the real Stanley Cup.)

This cup is for the Blandford Farm team. (Yes, it’s the real Stanley Cup.)

Stanley Cup – This really should be awarded to Aaron, Liz, Mark, and their team.  Their work, sweat, and persistence gave us healthy vegies throughout the season.  I’ll bet Lord Stanley of Preston was a carnivore.

And finally, a tip of the hat to the late Frank Deford, NPR’s sports commentator.  He gave me the idea that sports can intersect other areas of our lives.  Dunno if he did a commentary on CSAs, though.



About the author:  Dave Gillen didn’t want to eat hotdogs for the rest of his life, so he learned to cook.  His mother taught him to boil water, fry an egg, and make oatmeal cookies.  Dave forgot how to make the cookies, barely remembered how to fry eggs, but is spot on at boiling water.  Currently, he divides his days between being wife Lois’ in-house techno geek and personal chef…and walking his greyhounds.


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